Gonna leave this world for a while
Did you ever want to get inside the brain of someone suffering from mental health illness? Well, this is what it’s like inside my brain, or at least what it was like when I was at my lowest point. The sweet sounds of Petty in the background, perfectly romantic, in a situation that was far from serene. I had an albatross hanging around my neck; I needed a physical relief from this psychological labyrinth. A rabbit hole to leave this world for a while.
The danger of mental health illness is what you don’t see, the fact that perception is not always reality. The perception that I was this bright, beaming, beautiful being was all smoke in mirrors. As a matter of fact, I was more like the smoke, suffocating, dark, vacant. I spent so much time just waiting for the dust to settle, thinking I’ll start sleeping again soon, the thoughts will stop racing soon, the depression will lift soon…or more simply, I’ll get the desire to breathe again soon. But that time you can’t escape, you get swallowed alive, how do you rebound? Where do you go? For many, there’s only down the rabbit hole.